18 January 2008

New friends

Ignacio A. Conner, Liza J. Diggs and Esther W. Lutz all think they could help me gain more in size day by day. Let me tell you, Ignacio, Liza and Esther, that first of all, I do not need anybody’s help to gain more in size, I am quite capable of doing that myself, and simply by looking longingly at a slice of bread. Secondly, the idea is to LOSE weight, not gain it. Unless you think I might be a man, and you are not talking about my weight. Sadly, I will never know, as I have deleted all your emails without reading them, as well as those of your friends Carolyn M. Cooke, Carly M. Lujan and Olen Z. Stanton. (Olen???? Z.????) At least, Pearly Staples and Candace Colbert had names matching their wares, sounding a little like those “what is your porn star name?”quizzes where you need to match the name of your first pet to the name of the street you used to live in. Ferdinand B. Gamble had an interesting proposition: to increase my pen!s (pen’s? with a badly placed apo’strophy?) without surgery. Dear Ferdinand, I never ever use surgery on my pens. Pencil parers on my pencils, that’s all. Call me old fashioned. And yes, I was briefly tempted by Marion’s suggestion that I should say YES to my new super abilities, but I wasn’t sure if she meant ability to write a thesis… so I deleted everything, and will go back to my normal abilities, whatever they are.

So it is goodbye, Ferdinand, Ignacio, Carly and Olen. Although your names are cool and our friendship might have brought meaning and happiness to my life, I have severed the link and deleted the email account.

16 January 2008

And even more mockery

This is mockery of the highest order. I had hardly pressed the publish button on the previous post, and had gone to the Amazon mothership, not the UK one, in search of another book. This is what they tactfully suggested:

I am speechless. The signs have been sent to me. I'm off to the library, my laptop under my arm, and will only come out when the chapter is written. Or I get thin. Whichever comes first...


The Internet is mocking me. It is throwing my faithful following right back in my face, even though I have patiently explored, read, pondered various aspects of its communicative elements.

I was reading a very interesting article on fan fiction, by Angela Thomas. And decided to investigate one of the authors she cites. So off to DCU library online. Nothing. TCD maybe? Nope. So, onwards to Amazon. Dear Amazon, saviour of the reader of little-known books in Ireland, please tell me all about Technological Literacy. And what does it answer?

Your search "technological literacy luke" did not match any products.

That was disappointing, but acceptable. Then came the mockery, nay the taunting. Instead of technological literacy, this Internet fiend suggested I read these:

"Cook Yourself Thin": The Delicious Way to Drop a Dress Size Paperback by Harry Eastwood

Ha! Like I have time to cook, let alone cook thin stuff...

Or else:

A Quiet Belief in Angels [New Ed] Paperback by R.J. Ellory

Why exactly would I need to believe in angels? And why now? Something to do with the chapter that is not yet written? Or the very un-thin cooking? What exactly is Teh Internet trying to tell me????

15 January 2008

Severe lack of sanity

Because my life was boring and I had so much time on my hands, what with a thesis to write and a moutain of laundry of Everest proportions, as well as four offsprings of various ages all living (and eating) at home, this is what I chose to bring into my life before Christmas:

14 January 2008

Fear of failure - writer's block

Writing is very much on my mind this January. I did not write a list of resolutions for the new year, not even a list of wishes, as one overshadows the rest: write. Write the thesis, once and for all. Write all the bits and pieces already written here and there into coherent pieces. Write chapters from introduction to conclusion. Write, at some stage before the end of December, two little words: The End.

But writing is hard. It's hard to start writing, let alone stick at it; today I came across this interview with Markus Zusak, who wrote The Book Thief (another book I could read if I had written more, and thus had more time to devote to reading for pleasure). And this warmed my heart a little:

"some of what I feel are the best ideas in it came to me when I was working away for apparently no result. Failure has been my best friend as a writer. It tests you, to see if you have what it takes to see it through."

I hope I do.

13 January 2008

The long silence, broken

This has been a time of total writers' block. No paper, no chapter, no diary, no blog entry, nothing that involved typing. And then, slowly, after the dreadful Christmas break spent in bed, sick as a parrot or a dog or suchlike, the blood started flowing again in the fingers. Reading, typing reading notes, the beginnings of a chapter, and now, inspired by something in my RSS reader, a very short entry, heralding the new year.

Because this image is so tempting and covetable, that I had to insert it. Blog and tea, mad hatter or not, I'd love to go there!